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First letter to my President

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Dear PMB,

You shall live long sir. You will leave positive legacies that will entrench you in the hearts of men and long after you are gone , you will yet live. God bless you sir.

I write to you not in the manner of Obasanjo to Jonathan. My heart is clean.

Please forgive them that ridiculed you in the run up to the elections. The task at hand is enormous. Forgive Fayose and his diaper talk, politics make men do desperate things. Forgive him and his front-page wishes, your days shall be long . Forgive, but do not forget the Ekitigate scandal. We can’t sweep everything under the carpet. Is Captain Sagir Koli still in hiding sir? I know you get security reports. Forgive those media houses and their poisoned documentaries. Peddlers of malice. Regulatory reforms are needed

Nigerian President Mohammadu Buhari swears to an oath during his inauguration at the Eagles Square in Abuja, on May 29, 2015. Buhari, 72, defeated Goodluck Jonathan in March 28 elections -- the first time in Nigeria's history that an opposition candidate had beaten a sitting president. AFP PHOTO

Leave Okupe and Fani Kayode , e jor. We can’t be chasing rats, our economy is on fire. I like your rapport with the military people. Let us leave vengeance for God. Have they found your certificate sir? I suggest you keep one file at home. Hearts of desperate men, who can tell?

You have hit the ground running and flying sir. London, Niger, “West Germany”, South Africa , O ga ju. Well done sir. The Boko haram and anti corruption wars have taken new positive dimensions. It is good you put your foot down and made the headship of the multinational JTF exclusively Nigeria’s. These our neighbours can be sarcastic. The other day some half baked soldiers from Niger republic had the temerity to call our gallant soldiers cowards. And those insufferably loquacious Chadians. See what ‘condition’ has caused for crayfish.

The EFCC officials have been struggling to impress you sir, please consider them. Forgive the DSS and that their spokesperson. They will learn neutrality and professionalism in due course. They thought there was no vacancy in Aso rock.

The probes have started quietly, nice one sir.

It was good you dropped the title ‘General ‘. Put it away sir, it still belongs to you. Drop all excess baggage , you are not like them who crave vain titles, those ex permanent secretaries. I know you are simple and hate hyperbolism. Consider dropping that “His Excellency”, it doesn’t mean anything sir, let them not use it to confuse you. Even that ‘commander in chief of the armed forces’. It is superfluous sir. You have no rival . You are the commander in chief of both armed and unarmed forces, military and political.. Oga at the topmost top. You are a democratically elected president. A tiger need not declare his ‘tigeritude’.

Baba, your people live in darkness. Erratic + epileptic= partial darkness. We have been told many ‘mega watts’ stories in the past. When the rains come with a paltry improvement for two months they will claim glory due rains. We need light. The privatization has been done but ………nothing! They say we should be patient, that electricity cannot be bought like ‘kulikuli’ . 16 year old PDP tale. That story should have an expiry date. Biko.

We know you have inherited a weak economy and that national revenues have plummeted. Many in many states have not received salaries for months. The economy has been on vacation since November. Naira is floundering. Governance was suspended the day Jonathan congratulated you. I know you have just come and criticisms may seem harsh but understand our plight sir . The fuel queues are gradually becoming permanent even in Abuja. Marketers sell petrol at different prices. Sir, please remove the petroleum subsidy, remove it. Don’t listen to NLC, it’s a trade union , they will have to make the ‘right’ noises. Middle men and profiteers and cronies of powerful officials have grown fat on the subsidy meant for the poor.

Push the PIB through sir. Meet the banks and organized private sector. Give the economy an immediate sense of direction. Any hope for true federalism? What do you want to do with the confab report?

Sir, I know you have a disdain for politics, dirty politics. But you are the leader of a political party now sir. And that is where you belong. People are unhappy that you have left the Lion of bourdillon to run the party machinery whimsically. Some of them are complaining for selfish reasons. The big man from Adamawa jumps from party to party and cannot even install his candidate as governor in his state. Many paper tigers. Some are eyeing your seat come 2019. I don’t know why they are in such a haste. The Lion of bourdillon is politically savvy and you must keep him close but APC is not AC and Nigeria is not Lagos. He should step back a bit sir. But he is a good ally. Without him you would never have been president, gaskiya. Though I agree, God did it. The Lion of Ubima is a good ally too.

And that brings me to Saraki sir. This your non intervention policy , with all due respect, is flawed sir. Sir , pardon me, how can you seek to enthrone probity and order and you won’t care who controls the law making body? How can you seek to bring about change but you don’t care to nudge change agents into driving positions? I don’t understand sir. Non interference is an ideal but look at our situation. Minimal ,non-shackling, moral , selfless , patriotic, intervention won’t hurt. It is true that the legislature should be independent but you cannot close your eyes completely to what goes on there sir. You are the leader of your party and you must protect your party’s interests . Impunity in all shades must be arrested.

How can Saraki go unpunished? If your party had left the contest of the senate presidency the way you left it, then you all would have donated it to the PDP. And when the party hierarchy organized a poll and endorsed the winner you should have stood by them . Not reluctantly but enthusiastically, visibly and strongly. Are you not the leader of the party? If you didn’t like the arrangement then you should have told them frontally. Prevarication makes you look weak sir.

How else could the party have gone about protecting itself against the prospect of the PDP taking that seat? When Saraki sneaked into the chambers with his co conspirators , he exposed the party, put the interests of the party in jeopardy. If the PDP men wanted it that badly, were unscrupulous , they could have nominated their own and made him senate president that morning.

And did you really call a meeting sir? Your spokesperson said you did? You can’t afford to be seen as a hesitant leader sir, you were not once shoeless, don’t be clueless sir. How could that clerk proceed without a half of the senate?

If you tolerate Saraki’s perfidy then we must consider late Mr Iscariot for a posthumous award! Do not start with a very bad disciplinary precedent. After all what did Judas even do sir? If this Saraki’s treachery is not a gross anti party activity tell me what is sir. If the majority of APC senators and the party hierarchy preferred a candidate then that is the party’s position. Saraki negotiated away the deputy senate president position to further his personal interest, how can you condone that?

What Saraki did is only as constitutional as what Judas did. It’s not about constitutionality. I prefer Saraki to that Lawan but he has committed a political abomination.

Some say it’s democracy at work. That our politicians are essentially self centered , treacherous opportunists . These are no virtues and leaders must abhor them. Democracy does not permit rascality. The parties are political clubs and members don’t trample on club decisions in the name of constitutional freedom. Parties aren’t ‘jankara’ platforms. Democracy is not furthered by “Iskanchi” and anti party activities. Some say we must move forward. The way forward is not the endorsement or validation of rebelliousness.

Let me tell you sir, you cannot improve this country without your party, without a strong disciplined party. Take your positions early and whip people into line, when you dilly and dally , you cause confusion. Don’t use body language like our Baba from Ota. Some are now saying we may have to wake the late Tunde Idiagbon, just imagine.

If you want to bring about change sir then broken windows theory suggests you must not tolerate even misdemeanours within your party. Run a tight shift and people will sit up. Tackle little things first and the big ones will disappear. Some of us dreamt of roads purged of policemen extorting money from motorists in broad daylight the day after your inauguration. They are still there sir, taking bribes and giving “change”. That’s not the change we want , people want to see visible positive change sir. Before inertia sets in , do something sir. Corruption must leave the sitting room and head back to the boys quarters where it once lived in 1984.

I was happy when you abandoned that Rolls Royce car in London. Fleeing from all appearances of evil. Leave them and their sybaritism sir. People are watching, your ministers must fall in line. Don’t hire any goats sir, the other set of goats nearly emptied the barn.

Tell Madam and the children to be compliant . That wrist watch can be donated to a motherless babies’ home. We know Madam didn’t steal the money but in the spirit of the times let it go to charity. I don’t know if you have paid back the loan for the APC ticket.

Sir, you made many promises. Some will be difficult to keep and the people know. You know the PDP people were making , so you were making. But Some are easy to keep. I can’t remember what exactly you said about the presidential fleet. Something about converting the fleet to a commercial airline. I know you are an honest man.

Always try and remember the names of important persons sir. I have the same problem, so when I speak publicly I am deliberately slow and tactful.

I campaigned for you. I voted for you. Please sir, don’t let me down.

Permission to carry on sir!

Nagode sir.

Sai Buhari!

Your son, Ugoji Egbujo.

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